If you’ve worked in the sex industry for a while, you’ve probably come across a bad client. We all get them, don’t worry. I’ve actually written a blog about how to avoid being a bad client here, but as a worker, how can you detect a bad client and how can you avoid them? A client could considered be ‘bad’ for many reasons, some of which include being a time waster, not paying for the service properly or being abusive.
Timewaster
This is one of the most common (and pesky) types of bad clients. Usually this is someone who will make an enquiry without the intention of following through with the booking, or perhaps just making the booking process really long winded and almost impossible.
It’s important to understand that not every client who reaches out without following through is a time waster. Sometimes they want to find out a bit more about a service or ask questions before committing. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as their enquiry is genuine and concise.
One type of time waster to look out for is the ‘ghost‘ or ‘no show’. It goes without saying that they create a booking but simply fail to show up. If you’re lucky, they will at least come up with a lousy excuse, but often they will just completely fall off the radar. I understand some client bail due to nerves, without intending to waste a worker’s time. If you’re a nervous client reading this, please understand that sex workers deal with nerves all the time. It’s very normal and it’s our job to put your anxiety at ease. But if nerves really are getting the better of you, try to give the worker as much notice as possible and at least try to be honest about why you’re cancelling. Unfortunately, I believe a lot of people who do this are just bored and get a kick out of wasting someone’s time.
Other types of time wasters are those seeking chit chat with no intention of ever making a booking. They will likely integrate ‘sexting’ into the enquiry or may even ask for photos or videos in a sexy dress or lingerie, or wearing nothing at all. Many of these types of time wasters lure workers by offering false promises of luxury gifts or weekends away at high class hotels and resorts, to keep them engaged.
My advice is that is an offer sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Whenever I have gone against a gut feeling, 99% of the time I’ll have shot myself in the foot. Avoid engaging in chit chat (a little is okay, as long as the conversation stays on track to setting up a booking). Avoid sending photos or videos. If they want verification, put some candid photos on your advertisement or set up social media channels with selfies and refer them there. Always get a deposit before committing to a booking, as this will rule out a lot of time wasters.
Payment Scams
Another red flag to look out for are payment scams. There are a few ways that this can happen.
The first and probably most common is short changing. Sometimes this can be deliberate, but it can also be accidental, so don’t always jump to conclusions. For example, I had a client find my profile on a website that had stolen my data and had displayed false rates. So just make sure you’ve confirmed the rate before meeting. Don’t be shy about counting the money at that start of a meeting. But if you are a bit awkward about doing this in front of the client, you can count while he’s in the shower and confront any discrepancies once he’s out.
Another money issue that I’ve had over the years are fake bank transfers. Thankfully, this happens less as bank transfers have become more instantaneous. Essentially a client will transfer the money via his bank account without the money ever hitting your account. Either he’s managed to reverse the charge, or he showed you a fake receipt. Always make sure the money has hit your account before starting the booking. A lot of workers have mitigated this issue by using an app called Beemit, which is discrete and instantaneous. However, Beemit isn’t great if the client hasn’t already got it installed on his phone, as there is a small a setup process. Another method is to get a card reader. Card readers are easy to get- all you need is an ABN. I have one from Square Up which was very easy to set up, plus it’s small so it fits in my outcall bag quite nicely.
Another thing to be weary of is leaving your purse unattended. This hasn’t happened to me personally, but I’ve heard of instances where clients steal a sex workers money from their bag while they’re in the bathroom or perhaps getting a drink. So just make sure to keep your bag on you at all times, no matter how ‘trustworthy’ you think the client is.
abusive clients
While the first two scams I spoke about were ‘harmless’ while frustrating nonetheless, abusive clients are the ones you’ll clearly want to take the most care to avoid. Contrary to how the sex industry is portrayed in pop culture, it is actually not as dangerous as it’s depicted (I can only speak from experience for private/ agency work, not street or brothel work). Of course there is always a risk, but with the right measures it is no greater than those we encounter every day. From my experience, I feel safer meeting an industry client than I would meeting someone from a night club or from a dating app. I am grateful to have never had an abusive client, although I have had the odd person who might make me feel a bit uncomfortable.
You generally want to avoid intoxicated or high clients, because they can be unpredictable. The few times I have felt uneasy during a booking were when I was working for an agency. Most of their shifts were after 11pm, which is when people are usually get high or drunk.
Fun fact about my naivety- when I joined the agency, they asked me a series of basic questions, including if I ‘party’. Thinking back to my college days, I said ‘yeah, I like parties’. I didn’t know that ‘partying’ simply meant drug based bookings and kept wondering why these lame parties were missing music and beer pong (haha). Just a heads up for those who also don’t know! Since becoming a private worker, I have more control over my hours and won’t work past 10pm and nor do last minute bookings. If someone books you in advance, fair chance they’re not just high and horny.
I would suggest ignoring anyone who has written a generic message like ‘u available’. Communication is very important in this industry, and if this hasn’t been established from the beginning, then there’s a high chance of having issues later.
It’s also important to be accepting bookings because you want to, not because you have to. Having a secondary source of income and building up savings is important as a sex worker, especially in the beginning before you’ve built your reputation and client base. When I first began sex work, I was also working a full time job. While it was tempting to give this up (I hated this job), it gave me the security to turn down bookings that I may have otherwise accepted if I had been more desperate for money.
Always value your health and safety above money. Never let a single dollar override your gut instinct to do something that doesn’t feel right. No amount of money can undo physical and mental damage that can be caused if something goes wrong. Most women enter this industry to gain a better quality of life, but this all goes out the window if you forget to look after your health.
