When I entered the world of escorting, something I was not prepared for was how acceptable, or even encouraged it was to lie. From the moment I joined my agency, I was given a fake name, age and persona. I was told I was to be an 18 year old (you ‘should’ put your age as young as possible, even if you don’t look it) and studying teaching rather than engineering because it’s too ‘masculine and intimidating’. My online profile and photos was of a girl who no longer worked there, so when clients would book ‘her’, they would be greeted by me- a totally different girl. A scenario I imagine a lot of clients reading this can relate to.
I remember one time a client specifically asked for a particular girl but she was no longer working at the agency (also a different girl from my fake profile), so they sent me out pretending to be her, hoping that he wouldn’t notice. I had to use her name and at one point during the booking I accidentally blurted out my own working name. Of course he knew the whole time (horny men can do silly things but they aren’t stupid). Luckily he didn’t care, but the whole situation still didn’t feel right to me.
I agree that some lies are acceptable in order to protect ourselves. Working ladies are put in a vulnerable position and I do believe it’s important to alter personal details such as our name, where we live etc in order to remain safe. However, I don’t believe in lies that are misleading or toxic.
A lot of escorts will create a persona or alter ego upon entering the industry. The idea of this is to create an identity and experience that is more desirable to men, and will result in more bookings. Some escorts also do this as a form of detachment from the reality of their work- to protect themselves mentally. I understand this work is absolutely not for everyone, however I don’t think it should be pursued if it’s creating so much trauma that an alter ego needs to be created in order to work. This is not healthy and as I’ve mentioned a few times before, it doesn’t matter how much money you have, you cannot buy back your mental health once you’ve lost it. Anyway, I digress.
What a lot of escorts and agencies don’t realise is that men like all types of women. Lot’s of escorts pretend to be a sexual ideal, when they would be just as successful, if not more successful, as themselves. I am also a huge believer in the law of attraction. If you build a brand based on integrity and honesty, you will attract these types of people back. Trust is a very important pillar of this industry. One of the greatest concerns clients have when booking an escort is being scammed or mislead. While even a small white lie may seem harmless, it sews a seed of doubt in the clients mind, especially if they have been scammed before.
I am probably going to get in a lot of trouble for the next thing I am about to say, I but I think it’s really important to talk about, so I am happy to go down for it. A lot of escorts post fake social media content. I know you’re probably thinking ‘wow, Jasmine- how revolutionary of you to tell us this. I had no idea social media was fake…’ (sarcasm of course). We all know that social media is a cherry picked version of our lives, but it’s still very easy to fall into the trap of believing what we see. Many escorts will create an illusion that they are more desired on social media than they are in reality. I can understand the marketing logic behind this, but I also think it can backfire. It’s also incredibly toxic for people who may believe these lies.
One of the lies I see a lot of is is gift giving. You know those ‘Thankyou Mr D for spoiling me with *insert super expensive gift here*’- it’s probably fake. While these are sometimes real gifts, plenty of escorts will just go shopping, buy themselves something and pretend it was gifted to them by a client. The intention behind fake gift giving posts (or even real ones) is to set the standard that this is what clients are doing, and it’s what’s expected of future clients. A lot of girls won’t admit this, but I also think it’s a 1 up on other escorts. I have problems this tactic for a few reasons. Firstly, this could very easily backfire, since clients may avoid seeing this particular escort since not everyone is willing buy expensive gifts and dinners on top of the booking fee, in order to meet their ‘standards’. Many clients visit escorts to feel appreciated- a feeling they may not be getting in their real life. If the experience is going to be all about the escort acting like a spoiled child, it’s likely they will avoid them too.
Perhaps I came from a more conservative English upbringing but I was raised to believe that bragging or boasting is rude or narcissistic. I guess it’s just something that is ingrained in my behaviour from childhood, like many others who were raised in a similar way. I understand that different cultures and ethnicities are raised with different beliefs about this. I would be lying to say that I haven’t received thoughtful gifts from my clients over the years, but not once have I thought to post it to social media. Or if I did, it would have been for a reason that would genuinely entertain my followers, but not to brag. It would feel wrong.
I am conscious about other women in this industry, and how what I post could make them feel. I understand many women turn to sex work out of desperation. They may not have had a booking in weeks and I can’t even imagine how stressful and depressing that could be. To see some workers flaunting their ‘gifts’ online would be triggering when you’re struggling to put a meal on the table. The irony is that escorts who are supposed to be industry ‘mentors’ are the ones I see do this the most. If there are any workers out there reading this who have felt this way, please remember to always take those posts with a grain of salt and that social media isn’t always real.
This also leads onto my next ‘social media lie’ which is escorts lying about how many bookings or even the types of bookings they get. For example, some escorts may go out to dinner with a friend and post the meal pretending that it was a dinner date with a client. The same can happen for a weekend away or personal holiday. The idea of this is to give the illusion that they are a lot more busy than they really are- that clearly if all these dudes are booking her, then you should too. A lot of escorts will also post they are booked out, when in reality they aren’t.
I don’t think this is a good idea unless you are actually booked out and you’d like to inform clients to avoid disappointment when enquiring (I personally do this and I think is okay). I have personally known client to contact escorts who are ‘booked out’ according to Twitter only to find they have plenty of availability when they contact them or have their ‘available now’ indicator on. The danger in this is that once you make one false statement, a Pandora’s box can open and they may begin to question what else you may be lying about. I think it’s much more damaging for your brand to lose client integrity than it is to create false demand.
I could write an entire book about all the lies in the industry, but the last one I am going to expose is the ‘John Farnham farewell tour’. Over the four years I have been working, I’ve seen countless escorts post about retiring but they never actually do. Some of these retirements have been going on for my entire time I have been in the industry and the girls are still actively working. This is obviously a marketing plan to target FOMO (fear of missing out). They will get an influx of bookings because clients worry that they may miss the chance to see this particular worker ever again. Escorts who do this may think it’s a great idea, and they probably do get an influx of work, but clients are onto it and it’s become a bit of a joke among them. It may work for a short term gain, but it will burn any long term reputation (so unless you are actually retiring for good, don’t do it).
Anyway, I hope you found this post insightful. I may receive some criticism for exposing ‘industry secrets’, but honestly, they’re really not that secretive. I have done well to build my brand on authenticity, transparency and honesty and I really don’t believe you need to falsify information to do well as an escort. If anything, I think it has more potential to go wrong.
Do you know of ‘industry secrets’? Feel free to comment below.
Deposits are a pretty standard procedure for booking sex workers. You may be (understandably) cautious about handing money to someone over the …
It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog. It’s actually been a tumultuous few months for me. In case you don’t …
When I entered the world of escorting, something I was not prepared for was how acceptable, or even encouraged it was to …
Despite the array of online apps, dating in the digital age is harder than ever. You only have a few seconds to …
Finding the right amount of time to spend with an escort can be a challenge. You don’t want the experience to feel …
Sex can bring a lot of pleasure. It can relax us, give us a hit of happy hormones and brings us closer …
very interesting blog Jasmine and raises many thoughts and views I have considered over recent years – the expensive gifts, John Farnham retirement tour etc. even the “adjust your age down” philosophy adopted by some girls has some gents just increasing the age when they read the lady’s profile. Thankyou for the blog
Thanks for reading, Andrew. Yes, I know a lot of clients will automatically *add 5* or even 10 to the advertised age. It would be super frustrating, I imagine.
Oh wow, if you did not just cover every idea I have thought about and pondered over since I started seeing escorts. So well written, but a minefield of thoughts.
I am happy with escorts having an alter ego, as I respect a person’s privacy but my best experiences have been with ladies who do appear to be themselves and who do seem to take a genuine interest in our time together. This has led to repeat bookings over the years as you know you are in for a fun time – and not just in bed either, dinner, conversational time included.
As a client I find the posting of gifts a bit daunting, as to me it does imply more than perhaps it should. But if I like you and we get along, I am naturally more inclined to gift you something anyway. Not necessarily the $5,000 bag but certainly something you would hopefully find useful.
Enjoy your holiday.
I totally agree. It’s always nice when I client has brought something thoughtful. It doesn’t have to be expensive, I personally think it’s much nicer when it’s something unique or thought out, even just a flower from the garden. I had someone buy my a pair of expensive Valentino shoes, when I don’t even wear heels!
This is an excellent post about the industry reflecting what I have found out too because as you said, It is pretty obvious and I have come across them many times. Most of the time I just give up on booking anyone for months or longer because it just becomes too difficult to trust who I would be seeing.
Other lies that frustrate me are when you are talking to an ‘agent’ and not the girl you have named however they still try to say that you are talking directly to the girl you want to see. The girl doesn’t even get crucial information passed on so has no idea when it’s brought up upon meeting.
The next area is a bit sensitive but necessary regarding payment. There are many that don’t require deposits and many that demand deposits. The issue with this is obvious. Many profiles are just scam fake profiles. The payment methods for legit and scam escorts can be the same or similar so it’s very hard to tell. I understand the desire to make sure travel time and money isn’t wasted with nuisance bookings, however I am not the type that is willing to roll the dice on sending money to someone I don’t know in the hopes they are real. I don’t see a good solution to this. Ultimately one way or the other one side is taking the risk.
I also really can’t stand the constant inflated rates or just saying they wont travel outside the CBD. I don’t mind paying extra for outcalls especially as I feel the experience is better not being in the CBD, however the price is raised in some cases by 33% which I think is a bit excessive. I’m not over an hour away and still live in the metro area relatively close to the city. For example a particular escort might have incalls listed as $500/hr and outcalls as $600/hr. Then I’m told if they are to travel outside the CBD the rate has to include an uber fee (I’m fine with that), which I have been told will cost me $2400 for 3 hours. So a standard outcall of $1800 for 3 hours becomes 33% more expensive.
Some are upfront about this and whilst I don’t agree the higher rate is justified, I can then decide before continuing. But I don’t like surprise price jumps.
Anyway, thank you for your insights. You have always been very genuine and very memorable. I wish I could see you more often then we have.
I can see your point. As long as they have made you aware of the price BEFORE coming out, I don’t really have an issue with that. They are in charge of their prices and they can kind of charge what they like, as long as they are transparent about it before coming out. If you live about an hour away from the CBD, then the driving fee would be at least $100-$150, plus many escorts hire security and have to pay for their time. Then there’s also lost time in driving that they could have been spent in a booking that they may factor into the price. Again, I am all about transparency and I have no problem with what girls set their rates and extra fees at, as long as they are transparent about it and don’t spring it on the client upon arrival.
Also, deposits are essential for even authentic workers. Sure, there are scams out there but we often have costs to cover (hotel, Ubers etc) and if the client turns out to be a no show, then that can often be money down the drain. It’s really up to the client to do the research to prevent scamming. There is more information and resources out there for clients to assess whether a worker is reputable than we do. If a client is really uncomfortable paying any sort of deposit, then I would suggest visiting a parlour.
Thanks for that Jasmine. I know social media is really just an extension of one’s advertising and have heard in the past the expensive gifts are often bought just by the lady to create that image. So while I do take a lot of it with a healthy dose of salt. It can also be off putting or intimidating and a little crass.
I was interested in booking one lady. But she made a series of tweets about being taken on several dinner dates at an exclusive Japanese restaurant. You know the ones without a menu or pricing on the website. It’s great for her if that’s how she rolls, but I didn’t reach out because it did create that expectation and whatever other gifts. As much as I consider myself well to do, I don’t have another $1000 for a meal, plus gifts, plus the cost of seeing the lady.
I totally understand, and you’re not alone in feeling this way. As you said, each to their own and I have no real problem with how people want to run their business, but I do think these things have the potential to backfire and I think it’s a shame this is the advice industry ‘mentors’ are giving.